Randomness With Random Characters & Apple Strudels
by XxXTheNamelessOneXxX
Summary: Prepare yourselves for randomness. This is probably my 2nd or 3rd story so please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Tigeress: Hiya everyone! I've actually read Blaze's, She-Who-Has-A-Very-Long-Name's, and Nemesis' stories and I got the idea from them...Anyways, this is my 2****nd**** Fanfic…. I think… and please enjoy… Psycho ( Natella, a friend of mine) will say the disclaimer….**

**Psycho: Why me?!?!?!**

**Tigeress: 'Cause I said so!! Now say it already so I can get on with the story!!**

**Psycho: Fine… Tigeress does not own Star Wars, LOTR, or me, Psycho. But she does own apple strudles…**

**Tigeress: Yum….**

Apple Strudels, Pie, and the Introduction of Characters

_Somewhere in a galaxy far far away….._

"Tigeress and Psycho were playing checkers on Tatooine when Tigeress looked up."

"Who ordered the narrator??" Tigeress demanded, Force pushing the narrator away. "It's getting boring here…" A remote appeared in her hand and she pressed a big purple button. They disappeared and reappeared on the Death Star where Darth Vader was fighting Luke.

"Give in to your anger!! Come to the dark side!" shouted Palpatine, also known as Palpypie. "AND MY NAME IS NOT PALPYPIE!!!"

"Oh shut up." Psycho flipped her wand at Palpypie.

"My name is NOT PALPY-----"

"Silencio, oh bother… My dad told me not to use magic," Psycho sighed. Then a man in a masked appeared.

"PSYCHO!!!! DID YOU USE MAGIC?!?!?!" She flinched.

The spell on Palpypie finally wore off and he said, "Come to the dark side, Tigeress. Ah…. The Force is strong within you…. And the other…"

"Ha! I'll join you the day you have decent cookies and pie to eat. All you want is the Remote." Tigeress twirled the remote. It flew into the air and went speeding to the ground and shattered. "Oh crap, that cost me 20,000 Imperial Credits. GRR!!" She vanishes to get another remote.

"Who wants to go eat pie?" asked Psycho. She vanishes to go find pie.

"CAPPUCHINO!!!!!" Luke screams and he goes to run after a huge cappuccino.

"Well, that was, like, totally odd" stated Eowyn stated.

"Who are you??" Venus and Palpycake said together.

"MY NAME IS NOT VENUS!!!!" screamed Venus.

"AND MY NAME ISN'T PALPYCAKE EITHER!!!!"

"Well, I say it is, so it is, so there!" Tigeress appeared out of thin air. "Oh! Hi, Eowyn!"

"Oh! Like, totally, Hi!!"

" Oh, sorry I'll bring some of the characters from the LOTR here in just one sec."

"Tigeress flips through the manual of her new purple remote."

"DIE NARRATOR!!!!" shouted Princess Vapie, throwing the narrator out of the window,"and my name isn't Princess Vapie either!!!"

Tigeress hit the big purple button and Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf, Aragorn, Pippin, Merry, Frodo, Sam, Eomer, Sauron, Saruman, and Haldir appeared.

"Eomer! I, like, totally missed you!!!" Eowyn goes and hugs her brother. Psycho looks on suspiciously until she saw Frodo.

"YOU!!!!" She twirled her wand and shot him out of the window.

"Make me alive again!!!" Frodo begged to Tigeress.

"Oh sure… I just need to find my apple strudel… WHERE COULD IT HAVE GONE?!?!? Saruwoman, did you see it?!?!?!?"

"See what?!?" he asked innocently…. Yeah.. as if!

"Give. NOW."

"But –"

"No buts."

"Awwnn, you're no fun."

"HA!"

"Come to the dark side…." Murmered Pastytine

"Oh cut the crap." Pastytine ran into a hole to hide from Tigeress' trident, which she just found in Rohan.

Suddenly a huge pie fell on the hole in which Pastytine was hiding.

"Yay pie!" everyone said.

Psycho handed out forks and everyone dug in. Literally.

"Did someone say pie?!?" Vanus asked?!?

"Yup! But only the Rebels get it, mwahahahaha"

Vanus looked at Palpysign.

"I quit!"

"YAY!!!!" Tigeress said, hugging him, Anikin.

"Wait, I thought that you liked me!" Legolas said. "After all, I am the prettiest."

"yeah yeah yeah… I like both of you. Kay? Well, have fun!" Tigeress split her remote and handed a half to Legolas and a half to Anikin.

**Tigeress: That's all for this time! Hope you enjoyed it.**

**Psycho: Please review… or else…**

**Tigeress & Psycho: We shall hunt you down and feed you to the Balrog. (que evil laughter)**

**Legolas: Tigeress shall be posting the next chapter as soon as she can.**

**Anikin: You'd better review!**

**Legolas: Psycho already said that you idiot!**

**Tigeress: SHUT UP ALREADY!!!! And get out of the Author's note!! (brings out trident)**

**Psycho: Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Psycho: Sorry for the long wait…**

**Tigeress: But I couldn't think of anything…**

**Psycho: And here it is….the crazy stuff….**

**Tigeress: I do not own Psycho, Star Wars, Target, Alice in Wonderland, LOTR, Warriors, or any of the songs in the story.**

**Psycho: All the songs are underlined and in Italics**

The Flashback of Memories

_Somewhere…_

_You would not believe your eyes_

_If ten million fireflies_

_Lit up the world as I fell asleep_

'_Cause they filled the open air_

_And leave teardrops everywhere_

_You'd think me rude_

_But I would just stand and stare_

Psycho took her headphones off. The world suddenly dissolved around her and she was back

when she was in 2nd grade. She saw a butterfly and started chasing after it.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Anakin, newly turned from the Dark Side, was humming Final Destination to himself. Then he

fell into a portal of ash by accident. He reappeared in Mustafar.

"NOOOO!" Not Mustafar!" He yelled.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

_In his evil science lab of DOOM… (yeah right)_

"!" Yelled Puffypine. "I shall cast all of you into your most horrible memories!"

Tigeress popped in. She was holding a volcano shaped Palm Pilot.

"What's that?" asked Puffypine.

"It's a Palm Pilot, idiot." Tigeress said.

Then she turned it into a real volcano.

"Now it's a volcano that I'm gonna throw you in." She pressed a button on her new wand/phone/remote/etc.

"HOT!" cried Puffypine.

"Idiot." She muttered under her breath. Then she … AHH! HOT!

"Gosh, seriously those idiot narrators! WHERE IS PSYCHO?"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

_With Psycho…_

She was chasing the butterfly across a field of lilies. She kept going until she reached the Restricted Forest.(, no it's not from HP)

She went in, found a place to rest and fell asleep…. In her dream, she was kept in the Red Queen's Palace(Alice in Wonderland). Shuddering, she woke up, in the middle of the battle of the fields of Pelennor.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

_With Anakin…_

He watched with horror as he fought Obi-Wan again. Then he blinked and got transported to the time he killed Obi-Wan. He watched open-mouthed, horrified.

"NOOO!" His cry was heard everywhere… even in Middle Earth

^pop^ "Wrong world!" Tigeress popped in. Then she disappeared…

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**Tigeress: I know, it's short and not all that funny… but I have something planned… this is just the Prologue to a very amusing and long 5-part story that I have yet to think up..**

**Psycho: sure….**

**Tigeress: Review!**

**Psycho: She won't update until she has 10 reviews. **

**Tigeress: 5 or more actually…**

**Psycho: Oops, wrong story!**

**Tigeress: Nah, I was joking. I'm not updating until I have 10 reviews**


	3. The Memory Vault part 1

**Tigress: YAY!**

**Psycho: UPDATE!**

**Tigress: Here's the 5 part chapter! Well, only the 1st of the 5 chapters...or parts...**

**Psycho: and co-authoring...**

**Tigress: Blaze, Wolf, Nemesis, Darth Wolf, Maddie, Gail, and Darth Pyro!**

**Psycho: NEW PEOPLE! (tackles)**

**Palpy: NOO! but I have a plan...**

**Tigress: Psh, and we all know how THAT will end...oh, and this is BEFORE the last chapter...I think...  
**

**Pscho: Tigress doesn't own anything except for Tess and herself.

* * *

**

_In Tigress's bedroom/computer room/secret hideout..._

Darn him, darn him, darn him, darn him! Thought Tigress as she got off the computer. Palpy was stirring up trouble again by ordering... 50 boxes of nail, boxes and boxes of sheet metal, and 4 computers? Odd...

Tigress walked through the Hallway Maze she had installed earlier. Now don't go thinking that it was just some cheap, regular maze... NOOO... This was the real deal. There was even a dragon in there! Tigress navigated it easily, of course, it's her maze after all... plus she had a map of where the dementors, dragons, traps, Twilight characters (the horror!), sharks, snakes, giant papers, killer bunnies, and algebra books were...

After the maze was the Staircase of Horrors. It was designed to project your greatest fear, so you'd literally just freeze until the noodle-projecting silverware hit you with it's radioactive noodles that turn you rainbow colors for a week. Tigress passed through it easily as well, and ran through the WAVE! It was just a waterproof floor with huge holographic waves... except some were real. Of course, you don't need to know that. You see, Tigress had all these installed so no one questionable could go on her computer of into her room. Oh, and there's a question/password machine too...

* * *

She reached the meeting room where she found the 8 authoresses relaxing in the new massage chairs, while chatting about books, music, pie, more pie, candy(Blaze), colors, etc.

"Alright! Palpy ordered boxes of sheet metal and nails... and four computers. I say that it's VERY suspicious." Tigress said after she plopped down onto her chair. "Dang, these chairs are comfy!"

"But don't you think everything Palpy does is suspicious? And yes, they are very comfy... thanks for ordering them." Gail replied.

"You've got a point there."

"But it IS suspicious!" Wolf said, looking up from the table where she was doodling a monk wearing a Darth Vader helmet, a T-shirt that said, "Let's Rock and Roll, dudes!", a pair of boots, drinking monster, and attacking Palpy with every weapon known and unknown to man. She was also drawing a stack of Twilight books burning. It looked strangely realistic. "Well, if you think about it," She continued after no one said anything."Palpypie would have to be building something... Unless you think he's going to feed his 'army',as he calls it, all nails and sheet metal for breakfast, lunch, dinner, second breakfast, supper, and tea..."

"What would he be building, though?" wondered Darth Wolf aloud (mind, you, she's NOT a Sith...)

"It must be a trap." Darth Pyro said.

"No!" Nemesis jumped up, slamming her hand on the table."This is not a trap, this is war! This. Is. SPARTA!"

* * *

Palpy laughed evilly, showing his horrible rotten teeth. Guess who needs a dentist appointment? He gathered the Evillies. His plan was working and the Awesome People were oblivious... not for long...

* * *

Back in the meeting room, the meeting was over. It was voted that thirteen people, Wolf, Tigress, Nemesis, Blaze, Darth Wolf, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Aragorn, Leia, Luke, Ron, Gimli, and Hermionie, go find out what Palpy was planning. The others would watch over (a.k.a. guard) over Base if Palpy attacked.

* * *

_With the 13 people..._

_"_Alright," said Tigress, standing up on a table," Blaze and I will take Leia, Obi-Wan, Aragorn, and Hermionie through the air vents to spy. Meanwhile," Comatose began to play. It was Tigress's phone.

"Tigress, do you want to take the call now?" asked the Operator monkey.

"No, put them on hold, I'm on a roll." Then she got on the ground and... rolled (1) "So, I was saying... Meanwhile, Wolf and Nemesis goes to sabotage the supplies. Darth Wolf, Luke, Qui-Gon, Ron, and Gimli just have to distract the evil people so we can get in. Then, Team Darth (Darth Wolf's team) needs to report back to Foaly so we can record the info, because each of us will have an iriscam version 2.6 which can record sound, and take videos. We'll meet at Starbucks in one hour. Any questions?"

"So... Nemesis and I get to sabotage the supplies?" Wolf asked eagerly, breaking the silence.

"Yup."

"Epic! The Duo of Doom strikes again!" She high-fived Nemesis.

* * *

_Five minutes, a lot of complications and arguing later_...

A very odd battle cry echoed across the galaxy as Team Darth charged across the Lawn of Evil's Home to the Porch of Evil's Home. Why was it odd? Because Darth Wolf was screaming, "BACON!", Ron was screaming, "SPARTA!", Luke was screaming, "BEES!", Qui-Gon was screaming, "REVENGE!", and Gimli was screaming, "DIE!"

Off to the side, however, the Duo and Team Spy sneaked through a ventilation shaft. The two teams headed off purposefully in the wrong direction, then circled back and headed in the right direction...which was in opposite directions, due to the fact that they had each recently bought and marked the path on a blueprint of the ventilation shafts for the Evil's Home at Walmart. They had accidentally switched the maps...

* * *

_With the Duo of DOOM!..._

Wolf and Nemesis had separated. They were going to race each other to the Supply Room. It all started when they came to a crossroad... The Duo had argued on which route was faster, so they'd decided to have a little race. As it turned out, it was the same distance.

"I won!" said Wolf triumphantly.

"No, I won."

"No, me!"

"Me!"

This went on for several minutes, until they heard a voice in their heads.

_Wolf,_ it said._ Nemesis, please hurry with your task. It's putting my iris cams in danger..._ It was Foaly.

Wolf sighed. "Come on, we have a job to do!" They walked to the supply room as it was only a over-sized walk-in closet. Inside, Wolf and Nemesis found the suspected items quickly and with their licorice whip and pitchfork, respectively, they destroyed it all... all that remained were tiny pieces of dust. Now that it was over, the two authoresses found themselves hungry and hitch-hiked to Starbucks, even though it was only 6 blocks away.

* * *

_With Team Spy..._

They had split up. Leia had gone to the main control room, Obi-Wan had gone to the Library, Aragorn had gone to the study, Hermionie had gone to the living room, Blaze had gone to the Dining room/kitchen, and Tigress had gone to the Plotting room... typical.

* * *

_Leia..._

As she crawled through the vents, she prayed for some coffee. Then, she heard some voices, and froze.

"- extra-met-tha-", she heard... _It must have been something about a meeting!_ she thought.

She fumbled for her com-link that she always kept with her, and called Tigress and Blaze. Neither of them answered, but that was to be expected. This was the message she left for both of them:

'Leia here, I just heard something about a meeting of such and I'm going to investigate after I check the main control room.'

She crawled, and crawled, and crawled some more. Finally, she got to the main control room, and, using ninja skills she never knew she had, she deactivated all the security cameras in the room.

She pulled out a strip of metal, or plastic, she couldn't tell, but she did as Foaly, who had given it to her after explaining that it would let him control all the monitors and stuff, instructed and wrapped it tight around one of the wires. She crawled back into the vents and crawled to the meeting room. She hid in the shadows and watched as the Evillies gathered. One of them covered the ceiling in black paper so I couldn't see, darn them!

* * *

_Obi-Wan..._

Obi-Wan didn't have much luck in the library. All he found were some old books, nothing worth investigating. Then, he saw the book in a bright red covering. It didn't have a title, but he took it, nonetheless, because, a bright red book in a library of old scrappy books? It was bound to be new and probably had some vital information in it.

* * *

_Aragorn..._

Aragorn crept through the vents, muttering to himself that this wasn't worth doing. Of course, we all know that Aragorn is an egoistic nimrod...But back to the story.

Aragron headed to the study, muttering to himself... doesn't he know that it isn't good for you to talk to yourself?... He arrived at the study, and looked around, bored. He was bored of this and wanted to get back to the Safe part of the mission. Of course, there is no safe part of the mission... oh, did I mention he was a coward? So, he got there, nothing was amiss, he grabbed all the papers, and just left.

* * *

_Hermionie..._

She arrived in the living room, but there was nothing wrong, so she just left and went to Starbucks for a Latte.

* * *

_Blaze..._

She got to the dining room/kitchen and the first thing she saw was the candy machine.

"CANDY!" she whisper-screamed. She ran towards it, emptied it's contents into her backpack, had a drink of water, ate some candy, and ate some more candy. Then she heard voices drifting closer, talking about what they were going to have for dinner. She bolted towards the ventilation shaft and barely closed it before Voldysissy and Lucy Ferret walked in. She quickly scampered away.

* * *

_Tigress..._

She crouched in a dark corner, eating an apple. She was in the Plotting room. Now all she had to do was wait until Palpy and his 'minions' got together and, well, plotted.

* * *

_Team Darth..._

After they had reached the Porch of Evil's Home, they knocked on the Door of Evil's Home and scampered away. They went to the planet Spaceballs through a portal and found Foaly relaxing in a penthouse drinking coffee. Darth Wolf stole the coffee immediately and started drinking it like it was the last coffee left on Earth... err... Spaceballs, which it probably was.

Foaly sighed and opened his laptop. It had 8 boxes open, each showing where Wolf, Nemesis, Tigress, Blaze, Obi-Wan, Leia, Hermionie, and Aragorn were. There was one pop up showing somewhere underground, presumably, Haven.

Team Darth watched the screen intently.

* * *

_Starbucks..._

Obi-Wan, Aragorn, Hermionie, and Blaze met at table number 13 in Starbucks. Obi-Wan and Blaze had started a Coffee Drinking Contest. So far, Blaze was winning. She had already downed over 10 cups, plus she had a piece of candy in between each one. You know, the three characters should really start running now...

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Hermione asked Blaze from the top of a staircase(yes, the Starbucks had two floors).

Blaze didn't reply, only swung onto the railing and started to slide down.

"WHEEEE!" She shouted as she slid down the railing, gaining speed, until she reached the end and flew off over several customers who looked up in shock.

"LOOK!" cried Maddie, who was there just because she was bored and wanted coffee. "It's a flying person!She's going to crash!"

Amazingly, Blaze didn't crash. Hermione had levitated her just above the ground and set her down gently.

"That was fun!" Blaze shouted at Hermione. "You should try it!"

"No fricking way," She muttered. Then she raised her voice. "I'd rather not..." she sighed and leaned against the rails. Obi-Wan sneaked behind her and pushed her. "Wha-AHHH!" She screeched as she headed for the floor at top speed.

_

* * *

_

Back at Base...

Gail, Darth Pyro, and Psycho were bored. Maddie had left them to go to Starbucks and they had nothing to do. So, Gail wandered around the mansion randomly looking for stuff to do. Darth Pyro went to watch Yoda play Guitar Hero on expert level without missing any notes, and Psycho went to her room to watch Star Wars for the 52th time.

_

* * *

_

_Leia..._

Leia watched as the Evillies gathered and took their seats.

"I have a very important announcement." Palpy said. "The construction is going well, and even though the Duo of DOOM! sabotaged our supplies, thanks to Mr. Smith, I have ordered some more."

_Who's Mr. Smith?_ was Leia's first thought. Then, _I have to warn Tigress and Blaze and the other people._ She directed her attention back to Palpy.

"-Mr. Smith. He is from the Matrix."Palpy finished.

"OH! I've seen that movie! I looove it!" Voldy said, girlishly.

"Now, let's go to the plotting room so we can plot. After all, this is the meeting room, this is where the annoucements are, not the evil plots are formed..."

The Evillies left the room and Leia hurried into the ventilation shaft and crawled away. 5 minutes later, she reached Starbucks only to find that it was in ruins. There was a note from Blaze that said that they had accidentally blown up the place with a pipe bomb and that everyone was fine, but they had moved to the Starbucks 5 blocks down the road.

_

* * *

_

_Tigress..._

Tigress heard voices approaching. Of course, she didn't know if it was Palpy, or just the voices in her head. It turned out to be Palpy.

"Ah, yes, the plotting room... Darth Poison, put the black paper on the ceiling again, so that idiotic narrator cannot hear us.

Watch who's talking, Palps.

"Darth Poison, just... please, put the paper on the ceiling to shut her up..."

You know, you need to go to therapy more often.

Moving on...

Once the cover had been attached, Palpy sat on his 'high chair' and said, "People, I have come here before you to say, that the Memory Vault shall be finished in approximately 3 days!"

A lot of cheering and clapping followed that.

A hand was raised. "What is the Memory Vault for? What does it do?" Asked Dooku.

"Ah, oblivious little Dooku." Palpy sighed.

"I AM NOT OBLIVIOUS OR LITTLE!" He pulled out his lightsaber and murdered Galby who was sitting next to him.

"Dude, chill." Barricade said. Wait, how did Barricade even fit in there?

"Anyways, Dooku, The Memory Vault has the power to find your worst memory and make you re-live it over and over again. All you need is one drop of blood. I shall unleash it's power on the good people. Oh, did I mention that I can also erase one's memory with it? I plan to do that to the darned authoresses and make them my apprentices!" Palpy laughed evilly.

Tigress gasped in horror and crept away to Base.

* * *

**Tigress: WHOA,... long chapter.**

**Psycho: Yup...**

**Wolf: Very...**

**Tigress: 2 things: I'm sorry for not mentioning you that much in this chapter: Gail, Darth Pyro, and Maddie! DX and this might actually turn into a 7-part chapter instead of a 5-part... XD**

**Nemesis: You'll hear about the actual... well, I can't tell you...**

**Tigress: as for the (1) thing, it was what my 6th grade teacher actually did on the first day of school... awesomeness...**

**Blaze: Please review and she'll update soon...  
**


	4. The Memory Vault part 2

**Tigress: Yay! Part 2 of 7! And yes, I did change it to a 7-part chapter.**

**Psycho: Yay!**

**Wolf: Yay!**

**Maddie: Yay!**

**Elly: Yay!**

**Gail: Who are you?**

**Elly: I'm Tigress' friend... and I'm going to co-host only this part of the chapter!**

**Everyone: Yay!**

**Palpy: (gets thrown into volcano by Blaze)**

**Elly: Tigress doesn't own anyone/anything except herself and Tessa...**

* * *

_Starbucks..._

Blaze and the others were growing impatient. They had waited for 7 hours at Starbucks for Tigress, who still hadn't showed up. Then Blaze's comlink rang.

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, bananaphone!_ and so on... Blaze picked it up and when she heard it was Tigress, immediatly screamed at her for making her wait for for 7 hours at Starbucks.

* * *

_The House..._

Tigress flinched as Blaze screamed at her on the other end of the line.

"Geez, chilax. I was only gone for... oh.. I see..."

Blaze glared at the phone.

"I'm coming..." She said in an evil voice although she isn't evil...

* * *

_After about 4 hours of Blaze screaming at Tigress for forgetting about her and stuff..._

Tigress was sure that she was going to be deaf tomorrow...

"All right, people. So. I learned that Palpy's gonna make this machine thingy that makes you all relive your worst memories."

"How horrible!" Gail said.

"Agreed!" The Duo of Doom said together.

"Disperse!" Tigress said. She was tired... it'd been a looonnngggggggggggg day.

* * *

_At the evil lab..._

Palpy laughed evilly. His plan was working! Now, after tomorrow, he'd be able to control the whole world! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA - cough cough-

His upgraded droids would take a couple of drops of blood from everyone at the base. He smiled evilly. No one would be able to stop him.

* * *

**Tigress: Sorry it was so short, but the next one will be twice as long and I had to do the cliffhanger...**

**Wolf and Nemesis: =brandishes licorice whip and pitchfork=**

**Tigress: Shit. =runs=**

**Tigress: =circles back around= Don't forget to review! =sees the Duo of Doom= CRAP! =runs off again=**

**Blaze: =is eating popcorn=  
**


End file.
